I saw Brokeback Mountain

The husband needed to be bonded for his new job. He had to send papers to the court and then he had to send more to the police to get background checks and to find out if he is a criminal. I’ve been bugging him by telling him if he is wanted by the police, I’m leaving him for Kevin Smith. He was being nervous because he has so much illegal stuff on his hard drive that actually going to prison wouldn’t be far off. Now he has to be a good boy and take his vitamins and say his prayers so life for him is going to change a great deal.
We were in bed the other night talking about all this when he mentioned that he had to change his ways and that with his new job, he had to clean up his act and stop downloading music, movies, games and kitty porn. The topic continued with him talking about how he’d never make it in jail and this is the coversation that followed…
Wife: You’re too pretty to go to jail.
Husband: Boy, you sure have a pretty mouth.
Wife: You could pretend you were retarded. Who’d want to fuck a retard?
Husband: A retard would.
Wife: Oh the shame!!
Husband: I’d rather be fucked by a big bad Bertha looking mutha fucker then by some retard. At least I could say I was raped by a bad ass but if I was raped by a retard, that’s a whole nother story.
Wife: I saw Brokeback Mountain and just like Monster’s Ball, it scared the shit out of me. I don’t want you to go to jail. Stop downloading shit from the internet.