Ball Warmers

Hubby: Who keeps opening that damn window in the bathroom?
Wife: Not me, I can't reach!
Hubby: I'm froze.
Wife: Put on a sweater.
Hubby: My balls are froze.
Wife: Put on a sweater.
Hubby: I said my balls are cold.
Wife: (laughing) Put on a sweater. Haul your turtle neck up.

(still laughing)

Donnie Wahlberg

Wife: Most guys get better looking with age. Donnie Wahlberg isn't one of those guys.
Husband: You love Donnie Wahlberg.
Wife: I liked Donnie Wahlberg when he was in New Kids on the Block. That was 20 years ago.
Husband: You loved him. You wanted to marry him. You knew every song he sang. You lalalalalala loved him.

I hate when he's right! Damn

True Love

We saw this old couple walking down the street earlier today and my hubby commented about how we would probably be them in about 50 years.

Husband: Have you seen my teeth?
Wife: Yah, they are in your mouth.
Husband: Where are your teeth then?
Wife: They are in your mouth too.
Husband: I wondered why this chicken didn't have any meat.

Yup, it's true love!!

Fancy dinner and baby wipes

The hubby and I went out for dinner and I thought the table was just a tad bit sticky. I would have asked the waitress to wipe it off but she was no where in sight.
I opened up my purse and in a little baggie I have 6 or 7 baby wipes. I don't know why I carry them but I always feel safe and prepared.

My husband declared just before our drinks were brought to the table; "You're just like a boy scout except you don't have a penis."

It's sometimes difficult to know if it was a compliment or a mock but my table was clean and that is all that matters!

Fergalicious

Husband: Your new name is Titilicious.
Wife: Umm okay, is this going to be a private or a public name?