Fergalicious

Husband: Your new name is Titilicious.
Wife: Umm okay, is this going to be a private or a public name?

He says the sweetest things

Husband: "Even if you were brain damaged, I'd still want to do yah."

He really knows how to sweep a girl off her feet.

Goth girl

Hubby wants to turn our house into a mini castle. He's a little strange but that is why I love him. I love strange boys. During one of our many conversations about said castle, I mentioned that we should make our own seal that we'll put on our letters, invitations, and notes. We were discussing some sort of family crest when I was happy to mention that maybe we should seal it with blood. I thought it was a fun idea. Hubby, did not!!

Husband: Should I call you Miss Jolie?
Wife: Jolie?
Husband: Angela Jolie.
Wife: Oh, you mean Angelina Jolie!!
Husband: Angie, Angelina, doesn't matter how you say it, you are both freaks.

He loves me, he really loves!!

Shitting My Pants

I'm a shopoholic. Yup, I'm admitting a flaw here. I love to shop and I always overspend. I had two cartloads of groceries picked up earlier. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm expecting a flood, a war, or a snow storm. I was at the check out and as 100 dollars past, then 200 dollars, I started to get a little sick to my stomach. I wasn't even sure how much money was left on my debit card but just before the 300 dollar mark, I ran my card through the debit machine and surprise, surprise, it said Approved!!! hallelujah hallelujah

I was sweaty, nervous, trying to swallow. Imagine if I was rich? Then again if I had Donald Trump money, there would be no joy at the counter unless of course I was buying major corporations before breakfast. Instead of fainting at the counter, I'd probably shit myself.

Going Postal

The manager went on her lunch break today at work. She hardly ever takes lunch and works her ass off. I get a little annoyed with her at times but I still really like her. This particular day she isn't feeling well and has been working since 7 am this morning. At the time it was 1:15 in the afternoon. I was by myself packing away phones and accessories and all of a sudden I get swarmed. There are people everywhere whining and bitching and throwing tantrums. The manager comes back and she gets behind her cash, I'm on head cash and there are two lines as long as the eye can see. I try to make a mental note of who happens to be next because there is always a fight. This one lady, I use that term loosely. She was nothing near a lady. She started bitching at me about the 5 minute mark while waiting in line. There are 6 people in front of her and it's always first come first serve. This woman wanted to be served first. She butted in front of everyone, I was trying to make calls, serve a customer and she was complaining about how she was going to call the company and report us. Every minute that passed by she reported it to me and I kept on working as fast as I could. I wanted to serve her so she would go away. The woman I was serving was becoming a problem as well. Finally the manager stepped up in front of me and told the butterinner that she had to be patient and wait her turn in line. The woman shot back at the manager belittling her, me, the company etc. The manager did not back down. I was in shock. Normally this girl trys to make everyone happy. She is always smiling. Today was not one of these days and I swear the fur was flying. I didn't get into the mix because my voice is almost gone due to a cold and sore throat. Damn though, it was awesome!!! I wish I would have had popcorn...

Hubby and Dog

Hubby came home from work and lay down on the sofa after a hard day of being on his feet and dealing with idiots. Our little dog jumped up on his chest and lay belly up. He rubbed her fat gut, kissed her on the nose and said, "You smell like Cheetos."

Do you think Kevin Federline has had the same experience with Britney Spears?

Internet Friends

I've been online a long time. I think it was early '97 when I finally set up a webpage and started to make friends and have fun. I chatted for years, was host in a chatroom and joined a few online groups. I met a lady back in '99 whom I am still friends with today. She is the only person who has not wanted more of my time then I could provide. She never made me feel bad, never slammed me because I had a different opinion than her, nothing, nada.

I e-mailed another friend I had made a few years ago and I received a reply back this morning. I hit reply right away and wanted to cyber yell at her for being such a bitch and for being misinformed. I hate when people believe shit they know nothing about. I thought she had been my friend. I had not heard from her and thought maybe she had been sick. I wasted my time worrying about her for nothing. There is this one person we had been friends with who happens to be very demanding. If I didn't e-mail her or reply back on a message board quick enough, she'd e-mail all her friends and write things about me. I worked full time at the time. There were weeks when my husband and I both pulled 60-80 hours. I didn't have time to sit here and e-mail her and she knew it. I told everyone I had a job, I bought a new house and I had to work hard to pay for it.

To make a long story short, the lady I considered to me by good friend sided with the old bat from England and now, no one likes me. Bitches. The moral of my story, if you e-mail me and want to be my friend, you are shit out of luck. Thanks but no thanks!

I hit reply and wrote this long letter about friendship and betrayal however, I did not send it. She doesn't deserve a reply from me. I hope all her teeth fall out and spores and fungus grow in her gums and she coughs up frogs when someone kisses her, see, I'm not a mean bitch. I didn't put a hit out on her.

Party Planner

I love planning parties. I have seriously been thinking about going into business and becoming a party planner. I plan parties, I just don't get paid. Paid, yup, that is what I want. Money, you know, the purple, blue and brown stuff. I've planned a kids party for this weekend and I'm even supplying the food. Of course, this weekend is a freebie because it's family but what about the others who are not family. I would like to quit my job and get serious.